When we remember what "popular" meant in high school, we are invoking...status...a measure of...dominance, visibility, power and influence. A second type of popularity reflects likability...[which] has shown to be the most powerful kind of popularity there is."
Showing you the right way to be popular, Mitch Prinstein‘s book Popular: The power of likability in a status-obsessed world has been a fascinating read!
The John Van Seters Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at UNC offers a deep dive into a topic that has haunted us since adolescence–whether we care to admit it or not. He illustrates his points with stories that hit home as well as relevant research. Moreover, he offers concrete advice on the right way to be popular.
As the quote suggests, you can be popular because you have status and power. But, you can also be popular because you know how to read a room and show genuine interest in others. Other qualities include “someone who is trusted, has many friends seems fair, happy, polite, patient and knows how to share.”
It turns out that people who are likable have better well-being and success outcomes than those who had experienced high status in adolescence. Even as adults, people with the high-status type of popularity are generally not liked.
The key is to strive for deeper connections and focus on intrinsic goals, or “wishes that make us feel good without needing any external recognition or feedback.”
I’ve made a bunch of spiral scrubbies. They are fast and easy. Instant gratification. I think the combination of absorbent cotton with shiny synthetic yarn makes for decent dish scrubbers.
Learn more about Stacy’s Book Notes.
Sign up to receive a monthly digest of book notes via email.
*Some of the links on this page are “affiliate links” where I receive a small commission from any purchases at no cost to you. Some of these funds will be donated to organizations supporting women and girls.